Cat Got Your Tongue?

One of the things I really struggle with is finding ways to unwind during the work week. Since my day job started up in August, I feel like I've been continually on the go. Rushing home from work so I can get to they gym or go for a run, back home to throw dinner together, running errands, taking care of my house, working on the blog...and the list goes on.

I was chatting with my mom yesterday (OK, more like I was having a major meltdown and she was being a good, patient listener). Maxine the Bean has been behaving weirdly lately, and when mom suggested that Max might just want some attention, I went over the edge. "I don't have time to sit on my couch and pet my cat!" I shrieked. "I don't sit on my couch and pet myself! I don't sit on my couch and pet a man! I don't even sit on my couch!"

Whew. I think that means it's time to get a grip.

Incidentally, the part about not sitting on my couch is true. Unless you count the nights that I crash there, under the pretense of watching Top Chef, and then awake fully clothed and bewildered at 4 am. In that case, I guess you could say I sleep on my couch.

All in all, I think I do a pretty good job of fitting it all in. But when I keep it all up without allowing myself a break, I invariably start to feel like I'm missing those quirky, humorous little moments that make life life. It's as if life's just whooshing past me and I'm totally missing the point. And then, I bug out (see above).

I didn't really intend to unwind tonight, either. I planned to go to the car wash after work, rush home to write for an hour, go to the gym for back-to-back cycle and yoga classes, and then come home to write some more. Seriously? Are there that many hours in an evening?

Somewhere between work and car wash, I surrendered my plan, and I ended up having a--dare I say it--dare I say it?--relaxing night.

It all started with a drive along Columbia Parkway, through Mariemont, to Froggy's Car Wash.

Last week, I rhapsodized to my friend Kelly about how much I love Columbia Parkway, and I really do. Every Tuesday night, I take Route 50 home from work, just so I can drive the stretch of Columbia Parkway that runs between downtown and Delta Avenue. It's become a little ritual that I use to unwind and gear up for Wednesday morning.

Other times when I need to chill out, I pamper myself. But my baby's entering the geriatric stage, and she needs a little TLC, too.

So tonight, the car wash it was.

I had a totally trippy ride through the wash.

 

There were frogs everywhere! I whipped out my camera and snapped pictures all the way through. I'm sure the guys working there thought I was off my rocker!

While I waited for my car, I checked out the coffee shop.

Wait. Stop. Back up. What?

That's right, this car wash has a full coffee shop right inside. Being a coffee fiend, I had to check it out.

I went for broke and ordered a small iced coffee. It was pretty good! I asked the woman behind the counter if people come in just for the coffee, and she said they do.

There's my baby, getting a little love.

Spotting this sign capped off my evening. So glad I was able to slow down and enjoy the moment tonight, even if it was just at the car wash!

Dinner

I say I love to cook, and I do. I love to spend time creating delicious, interesting food. But I rarely have the leisure time to do this during the week, so I don't bother. Instead, I like to throw together creative salads, sandwiches, breakfast-for-dinners, or random plates of crave-able stuff.

I write a lot about going out. I love to go out, and the posts are fun to write! But if you only know me through the blog, it looks like I go out all the time, and I don't.

For a change of pace, I thought it would be fun to show you a few more of my easy, random weeknight meals. Because we're all human, right?

Tonight, I had a massive salad topped with cottage cheese, hummus, and avocado (AKA the holy trinity).

On the side, I had some stale crackers that I crisped under the broiler a la Grandma Angie, the most frugal lady on Earth. (It worked, Grandma! Just like fresh!)

Now, I'm stuffed. I'm off to bed! Or maybe the couch....

Have a wonderful day tomorrow!


How do you unwind?

I Can Be Anything

Was anyone else enthralled with Reading Rainbow as a kid?

I can still remember my two favorite episodes...the dairy farm, and the crayon factory. Don't you remember all of those orange crayons?

Or maybe that was Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Incidentally, Mr. Rogers made a mean no-bake cookie out of, hmmm...peanut butter, butter, brown sugar, and...maybe raisins. Sounds healthy, right?

Here's the recipe: Peanut Butter and Graham Cracker Treats. (Turns out I was way off on the ingredients!) I can still remember watching that episode of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, and then making these with my mom and brother in our family kitchen.

Anyway, the point of all this is not to share my childhood memories, but to say that I had a bit of an epiphany the other day. It happened in the shower, as things like this so often do. See, for quite some time, I've been searching for a direction, a calling. What do I want to do? Who am I going to be? And I've been coming up short.

But now, like Julie of Julie of the Wolves, who on her epic journey home pointed her boots toward her estranged father Kapugen before lying down to sleep each night, I have found a new direction. It feels like I am turning my face toward the sun after a long, cold night.

If I'd had any powdered milk or graham crackers in the house, I'd have made a batch of Mr. Rogers' Peanut Butter and Graham Cracker Treats to celebrate.

Charge Me Up

My day job recommences at 6:30 AM tomorrow. I'll return with a mixture of hope and trepidation. Along with the inherent rewards of my profession, my daily work brings with it a lot of stress and anxiety. I expect that this year will be a wild ride, filled with work and change, growth and loss.

My main goal this year is to keep working toward a healthier balance. Work, with play. Self-improvement, with self-love. Dreams, with action. I don't want to feel like I'm fighting and pushing all the time. I'd be happy with a nice, healthy strive.

Today I took some time to breathe, be kind to myself, and charge up for the months ahead.

I said nice things to myself. (You should try it, too.)

I took my weekly walk to the Hyde Park Farmers' Market, where I bought heirloom tomatoes and apples (my first of the season!).

I also bought two great big cookies from Donna's Gourmet (to be shared with friends), and this beautiful and delicious cappuccino from La Terza.

On my way home, I stopped to sit in the square.

I listened to a woman play the piano.

















She played with her eyes closed, swaying to the music. At one point, after a flamboyant run, she threw back her head, smiled, and then bubbled over with laughter.

I asked her how long she'd been playing. She said, "Since I was nine." Did she play professionally? Another laugh, "Sometimes." Ah, maybe she has a day job, too.

Is that the key to happiness and balance? Finding the thing that makes you throw your head back and laugh, and running with it?

A Beginner (Again): Setting Goals and Starting Over

When I started Crave and Create, I set a goal for myself to post twice a week. Why? Well, I think that setting a specific, measurable goal will encourage me to set aside time to write, giving me something to look forward to. I know from experience that having a goal to work toward gives me a sense of direction and purpose, and helps me feel better about myself. And come on, who doesn't need more of that in their life?

So, I keep a list new recipes to cook, restaurants to visit, and other things I'd like to write about, and it's staring me in the face right now. The list started to form in my mind when I started reading blogs and thinking about writing my own, which was way before I started Crave and Create.

The problem is--and it's a great problem to have--everything I do brings new ideas, and the list is growing exponentially. At two posts a week, I'd have plenty to write about even if I didn't do a single interesting thing until December 31!

Sometimes, I have to stop and remind myself that it's OK to change my plans, and the world won't end if I can't check off everything on my to-do list by the end of the day. Does anyone else have to do this?

My Plan A for tonight was to recreate the shrimp tacos (deliciosos!) that I had the last time I was home visiting my parents. But I rode my bike about 16 miles this afternoon, and all I really want to do is languish on my behind and read Twilight for a little while. Of course, as soon as I sat down, something I've been thinking about all week long popped into my head, and here I am.

On Thursday, I went running for the first time since I ran the Flying Pig Half Marathon on May 2.

After the half marathon, I had to take some time off to recover from an ankle injury and some related leg "issues". I'm not going to go into great detail about that today--chances are, if you're reading this, you already know the whole story! That's right, I definitely did my fair share of analyzing, bitchin' and moanin', and maybe even a little kicking and screaming, because taking time off was hard.

Taking time off made me think--a lot--about the way I view myself and my body. I realized that I set very high--sometimes unrealistic--expectations for myself, and that I do a lot of negative self-talking when I don't meet or exceed them. It also made me realize that, for my health, that needs to change.


I'm writing this post as part of Change the Way You See, Not the Way You Look Week at operationbeautiful.com. I also plan to write a series of related posts on Crave and Create in the coming months.

Here's a little background about me:

Fitness has been a huge part of my life for the past four years. Not only does exercise help me maintain my weight and my physical health, it helps me maintain my emotional health. You've heard of all of those studies that show that exercise can help elevate our mood, increase our self-esteem, and have all kinds of positive carryover effects in other areas of our life? Well, in my experience, that's all true.

Training for and running the half marathon opened up a whole new world to me. I like structure, so I liked having a training plan to follow. I enjoyed the feeling of anticipation mixed with trepidation leading up to my long runs on the weekend, and I loved finishing each long run feeling like I'd accomplished something I wasn't sure I could do. I also loved rewarding myself for my efforts--a new top or headband here, an ice cream cone there.

Crossing the finish line was amazing--one of the best moments of my entire life. I had done something that, until recently, I had never believed I could do.

Here I am at home after the race (and a shower). I felt like a million-bazillion bucks!

Sometimes I laugh to myself, because one of my goals when I started training was not to "burn myself out" on running. I went one better than that...I got hooked!

So, yeah...going from running 13.1 miles to being able to do pretty much nada, for an indeterminate amount of time, sparked a bit of a personal crisis for me. Without the structure of my training plan and the big goal of my race to look forward to, I pretty much tanked for awhile. But even though I got caught up in negativity quite a few times, I also learned a lot about myself and my body during my time off.

These are a few of the things I learned:

• Not being able to run, or even exercise at all for awhile, isn't going to kill me. When I didn't need to rush off to the gym or go for a run after a busy day at work, I had a lot of time to get things done at home, so I stressed less. I spent a lot more time doing other things I love to do--reading, cooking, hanging out with friends, and yes, even watching TV! As a result, my life felt more balanced. I enjoyed my free evenings and weekends. I had time to set goals in other areas of my life that I'd neglected during training.
• I really have developed good, solid, healthy habits. At the beginning of my time off, I worried a lot about getting lazy. I was afraid my healthy habits would start to slip if I couldn't exercise, and that eventually I'd be right back where I started out five years ago. Well, that didn't happen. I kept eating healthfully, most of the time. I still went out, had fun, and enjoyed a treat now and then (just not as many as when I was running 15 or 20 miles a week!) I gained about 3 pounds in 2 1/2 months. All of my clothes still fit. The bottom line: I realize now that I've achieved some very big and important lifestyle changes that are going to be with me for a long time.
• Running isn't the only way to get my fitness fix. I attended yoga and Pilates classes. I hauled out my old bike and started cycling. Pretty soon, I threw swimming into the mix. I even went to a few water aerobics classes at my gym, and--surprise!--discovered that I enjoyed the classes and the other women I met there.
• Strength training is awesome. When one of the doctors I saw for my ankle told me to swear off all cardio and weight-bearing activity (yoga, etc.), I started doing core and upper body strength-training workouts just to keep up a routine. At first, I felt like a dork trying to figure out the weight machines, but once I found my groove I really started to enjoy strength training and the quick results that I saw. (Hellooo, shoulders! Woman cannot get abs of steel from running alone...and besides, strong is beautiful!)
• It is really, really important to listen to your body. OK, this one's still a work in progress. But lately I've been thinking that (a little) pain is not a bad thing. It's our body's way of telling us we need to do something differently. It's when we ignore pain that we end up injured. It's OK to stop for the day and head home. It's OK to take an easy day or a day off, even if that's not what your training program says to do. It's OK. There is always tomorrow. My body is an amazing gift, and it deserves my respect.
  

I'm thrilled to be getting back on my feet right now. I'm grateful to my friends and my family, who've been patient and supportive (and who doled out the tough love when I needed it), because I've been an absolute pain in the rear.

It would be so easy to write this off as a waste of time. It's hard to resist the temptation to jump back into training like nothing ever happened, to push too hard and too fast to make up for the "lost" time. But that's how I got hurt in the first place. I got caught up in my enthusiasm, and made a lot of common beginners' mistakes--too much, too fast, everything, all the time. I didn't know better then, but now I do. So I'm going to take this opportunity to start all over again, and I'm going to set some new goals for myself right now.

Here are my goals for moving forward:

• Keep cross-training and strength training. Out of the things that I've tried, I've really enjoyed cycling, yoga, and Pilates. There's a great Pilates instructor who teaches twice a week at my gym, and I think making Pilates part of my weekly plan would really help to strengthen my core and my legs (and hopefully help prevent future injuries).
• Let myself be a beginner. Hard to do when you know there's a half-marathoner (and maybe more) lurking within! But the reality is that even though that potential is there, I haven't run in 2 1/2 months. I need to start over from the beginning, and train smartly, in order to stay healthy.
  
• Listen to my body. Part of training smartly is learning to listen and respond to your body. I can tell you right now, this is the goal I'm going to have to work the hardest at! Instead of beating myself up if I need to cut my workout short or take an unplanned rest day, I'm going to try to congratulate myself for being a smart athlete who respects my body.
• Focus on enjoying my workouts. Especially with running, I'm not going to get crazy about time, distance, and speed right now. I'm just going to work on building my strength and fitness. I'll set some basic goals, but I'm not going to get hung up on setting a strict timeline for meeting them.
  
• Enjoy my rest days. I plan to take 2-3 rest days each week, and I'll use that time to do things I enjoy (or things I need to do). I hope this will help me keep a better sense of balance in other parts of my life, too.
  
• Set mini-goals. During training, I learned something about the way I work. I like goals, plans, and structure, so I'm going to try to incorporate those into other areas of my life besides exercise.
  

I'm not saying I'll never make a mistake again. Sometimes we need to learn the same lesson more than once, and that's OK. It's just the way learning works. But when I think about all of the positive things I gained from this experience--a better understanding of myself and my body, increased awareness of my thought patterns (positive and negative), a renewed appreciation for the gift of movement--it's impossible to view it as a loss. And if I can use what I've learned to be a better person and a better athlete, then it wasn't a waste after all, was it?

Have you ever had a similar experience? How did you cope? What did you learn? Did it change your outlook or the way you do things now?

Why I Am Alive

Recently, my friend Carrie and I went to hear Anthony Bourdain speak at the Aronoff Center downtown.

Before the event, we enjoyed a meal at Via Vite overlooking Fountain Square.


We sat on the patio and enjoyed a nice view of the square.

I had a gin martini with basil and cucumber. My drink was served in an old-fashioned glass over ice. In the heat, the ice melted quickly, resulting in a watered-down cocktail. I really enjoyed the flavors of my drink, so I was a little disappointed that it ended up so diluted by the end. (Maybe I just didn't drink it quickly enough?)

My friend and I shared a salad with warm Boucheron goat cheese, raspberry truffle vinaigrette, and pistachios. She had had the salad before and told me how amazing it was, and she was right. It was amazing. I had never tried truffle, but now I see what all the (culinary) fuss is about! The truffle was deep and earthy, balancing well with the sweet-tart raspberry in the dressing, the peppery-bitter greens, tangy cheese, and pistachios.

To complete my dinner, I had the gazpacho, a special seasonal dish served with crab salad. Mmmm!


Anthony Bourdain was wonderful. I no longer find it easy to live in the moment, and as a result, my memory isn't what it used to be. Images and details don't burn themselves into my brain the way they once did. I've already forgotten most of the snark (except the Sandra Lee bit), but two things he said made a lasting impression.

I wish I could give you an exact quote. I'll do my best:

"How can we live in this world, with all that is has to offer, and not want to experience everything?"

I don't know, Tony. I've asked myself the same question. But to hear someone else voice it so plainly and eloquently? Right then, we were the only two in the room, and Anthony Bourdain had a direct line into my soul. My throat closed in, and my heart bloomed wide open, and for a second, I knew unquestionably why I am alive.

And that I must go, and live, now. Every moment, because life is happening all around me, and there is so much of it, and so little time.

The second lasting impression: I must go to Vietnam. I am adding it to my life list.